Pokeno public toilets


In a land far far away, a girl and a boy left the comfort of West Auckland to journey down the North Island for a wedding. After a tumultuous start due to the shitty south western traffic, they stopped for bacon related deliciousness in the home of bacon related deliciousness, Pokeno.

On the main road, a block down from ice cream and bacon sandwich vendors, the public toilet is perched on the edge of a mini park. The building has been crafted to look a little oldy-worldy with a villa style porch and a bus stop in front. I do so love it when a public council chooses to craft a bathroom to fit into the landscape rather than just giving in and buying a shitty boring Exceloo.


Other than a cute exterior the thing that made me want to rate this loo was the hilarious/adorable hand painted tiles inside the loos.





They are dotted about the place in no particular order. Unfortunately, they don’t appear to be a in tile adhesive paint or varnished over correctly so they are chipping and coming off in places.


The ladies bathroom comprised of one disabled loo with all the basics including a bag hook (love that feature, who wants to put their lovely Kate of Arcadia bag on the likely piss covered floor? Not me) in addition to 2-3 other stalls.


My favourite feature in the disabled bathroom was the “air conditioning” hole, or perhaps concrete floor sluicing hole would be more appropriate.


This one had a cock tile.




A pair of sinks and a newish hand drier complete the facility to a decent standard for a small town public toilet.


All in all I think this is quite a good little loo; it’s on the side of a main road (Great South Road) near diaries and plenty of parking. If I were driving in the vicinity while having a panic attack I would be glad this bathroom was available to hide and regain my composure. There is a decent level of privacy and anonymity and a weird little craft shop next door in case you’re in the mood for some handmade soap or ugly art.


Cleanliness :  6/10  As clean as you’d usually expect for a not brand new council loo.

Interior :  7/10  All the basics with a lil artsy fair for amusement.

Exterior :  8/10  Good positioning, off the motorway but close to shops for a drink or whatever if required, it’s easy to find in a panic with enough privacy to stop it being a worry.

Safety :  8/10  Pretty good on the whole. Farming people are too busy getting up early and doing hard yakka to waste time smoking crack or face stabbing out of towners in public toilets.

Snugglitude :  7/10  Not the best loo in the world but definitely a valuable asset for general freaking the fuck out times.

Total :  36/50


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