The Embassy Theatre with a little extra Hobbit


The Embassy Theatre is a beautiful old dame who has recently undergone a loving and slightly hobbity renovation. Known to the world as the theatre which presented the LOTR’s and Hobbit premiers, the Embassy is a gorgeous 1920s building which still has many of it’s original features.  A hefty amount of money was poured into the upkeep, and while I was there I could definitely sense a Peter Jackson vibe about in the rough hewn wooden doors and other subtle Middle Earth touches.

I decided due to the dreamy, movie-esk theme of this weeks bathroom I would craft an intricate web of dreamlike wonderment around my rating. I promise it has nothing to do with the fact that I was fucking around with Photoshop and randomly learning to vignette and ended up with these slightly 70’s porno soft focused images. In either case, I like my weird use of grey feathering which makes these look a bit weird and creepy, I hope you do too. If not well, bollocks.



I was told by a variety of people to visit the Embassy while I was in Wellington because it had lovely bathrooms. In addition to the facilities it also has lots of other gorgeous 20’s features like tiles! Yay tiles!!!




I love the combo of the small and rather intricate black and white tiled floors and the bold bright and detailed blue tiles running around the walls and up the stair way. So dreamy! If what you dream about is vintage tiles…



I found a variety of little features in the lobby and bathrooms take really showed the work and love put in to the restoration of this theatre.




The only thing that didn’t fit well with the surroundings was me, seen here in my walking about Wellington clothes rather than some kind of gorgeous flowy, beaded 30’s gown. Damn my lack of forethought and in ability to dress to my surroundings!




These bathrooms had been given a good polish and I imagine the original number may have been added to as there seemed far more than a normal heritage building but enough to house the ohh say 1,500+ people who attended the premiers.





Cleanliness :  9/10  Yep.

Interior :  8/10  8 stalls in total but only 2 sinks (not including the disability access toilet) so during a busy showing there would be a line or perhaps a number of unwashed hands floating about the place, eww. Seating, tick. There is a rest area near the front of the room with a chaise lounge, table lamps etc.

Exterior : 8/10  The bathrooms are under the stairs on the right as you walk in, nice and close to the front and in the most logical place for a heritage cinema/theatre building.

Safety :  9.5/10  It felt very safe. Good amount of staff to keep you unmolested (unless it’s the staff molesting you, then hmm, you have an issue.) I would go for a cinema or theatre over a public loo in the evenings, especially in such close proximity to the yahoos and drunk students of Courtney Place.

Snugglitude : 9/10  Other than the massive load someone had just left when I walked in which permeated my nose so deeply I could feel it in my sinuses, this place is high on the snugglitude-o’meter.

Total! : 43.5/50 

And look! there’s even an old public toilet across the road which has been re-purposed as a pub. Auckland could learn a thing or two from Welly and London with their use of heritage toilets.   I’m just sayin’ Auckland Council, get your shit together.



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