Green Bay public – beachy flashback


One afterweekend of late the boy and I went for a drive which culminated in a walk on the beach at Green Bay. Right there on the threshold of softly lapping harbour waves I found an awesome step-back-in-time, emotional DeLorean kind of facility (see map, X marks the spot, at the bottom of Portage Road for anyone who knows Auckland at all)

greenbay map

I liked this toilet primarily because it reminded me of the beach side bathrooms at Ohope near where I did most of my growing up. Very no nonsense, utilitarian but stocked with the right things with a view you can’t fault. Not only does it have the basic things, but in case of larger spillages or *ahem* explosions it has a shower to clean yourself off… The shower may be outside, exposed to the naked eye and the elements but hey beggars covered in coffee spillage or children’s shit/vomit can’t be choosers.





They contained the old classic, flat rung toilet roll holder which makes it almost impossible to gather any kind of workable amount of paper without taking an hour to slowly unwind it from it’s padlocked prison. Many an hour have I spent over the years wrestling with these monsters which I have only come across in New Zealand public bathrooms.


Another positive feature, you could say, is the wildlife. Not near or outside the bathroom but inside it. There were nests of birds harbouring in the rafters which offered rather a nice chirpy backing tracks during my visit. Good for me but perhaps not so good if you have a Hitchcock-esk fear of all things wingèd.



Cleanliness :  7/10  Clinical and out-doorsy but not too grubby considering how bad they could have been.

Interior :  8/10  1 Male, 1 Female and a disabled access toilet, this is a pretty decent array for such a small Bay.

Exterior :  8/10  You do have to walk down from the car park to the bathroom but it could take 30 seconds at a fast waddle if you knew it was there. Loved the anonymity and privacy of the whole area, even though there are houses right there. The view when you do leave the bathroom is gorgeous and would help to calm any flustered soul.

Safety : 6/10  I don’t think I would want to go to these rather remote feeling bathrooms at night without another person. The area is nice enough but it’s not somewhere to “hang” at 3am unless you’re looking for a certain kind of fun…

Snugglitude : 8/10  Points given for nostalgia, the view and peace.

Total : 37/50



(Josh being a Slow Loris)


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